I know that I’ve been spending a lot of time on this church-sponsered blog talking about decidedly selfish and non-church related things. Twitter, social media, my own self…all things that most church blogs don’t (and shouldn’t, in my opinion) touch with a 10-ft. pole. I tend to obsess about stuff and not focus on other, more important things (BIG shock to those who know me). I’ve also had to deal with low self-esteem and self-doubt, which certainly doesn’t help much when I’m thrust into a bigger role than what I feel comfortable in.
(FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED REAL LIFE, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS POST. ODDS ARE YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH)
One person can not serve two masters. It’s an obvious statement, yet one I’ve never really felt highlighted by the lifestyle and choices I’ve been making until recently. To further my education and to start getting ready for real life situations, I’ve started following PR and social media experts on Twitter. It started harmlessly enough, I added some PR blogs to my Google Reader based off of suggestions and the general biggies, then started following them on Twitter. Then I started following their friends on Twitter. Then I signed up for social networks with no intention to do anything except follow one or two PR professionals. Then I felt pressed to redo my whole Twitter page because I felt like people wouldn’t even look at me twice unless I had a spiffy design.
All the while, I’m reading all these blogs and posts and articles and reports and presentations and books and ohmygoodnesswillthemadnessneverend, and seeing all these things and requirements and new services that I must sign up for if I ever want to have a career.
I’m a college senior, yet I feel so incredibly young. I’ve surrounded myself with multi-year veterans of the field I am currently planning on entering, and a symptom of that is the feeling of absolute cluelessness. Granted, I have no experience other than what I’m going through now, and I won’t have any until, at the earliest, the school year through Cardinal Comm.
All this is pressing on my mind and soul….and distracting me from life. Time I could be spending with God, with Rachel, my family, my friends, is being spent on search engine optimization and the implications of the Facebook land grab. Instead of jumping in the pool, I’m jumping into Google Reader.
Fixing my priorities is a definate must, obviously, and I have to give MAD props to my Bible study (Sundays @6 at the Eastland Mall Starbucks…be warned, it’s intense) for pulling me, quite forcefully, out of the haze. Still…I’m just a college kid still. None of my schoolmates are anywhere are bad as I am, at least outwardly.
When is it acceptable to stop acting like a student and start acting like something else?
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